it's personal ...

Good Morning Friends

Happy Sunday!

Week two of no gathered services for church –

However, how many of you know we are the church;

                And church is wherever we are

I fully appreciate these intimate personal times with the LORD

It’s personal … it is a personal preference for each individual

Even so – I still miss gathering together as a corporate body of believers

But this too shall pass …

I heard an interesting news notification yesterday –

The actual instance occurred a couple of days ago;

In light of the numerous restrictions imposed by COVID-19, the Pope issued this statement:

‘If you don’t find a priest to go to confession, speak to God. He’s your Father. Tell Him the truth. ‘Lord. I did this and this and this. Pardon me.’ Ask His forgiveness with all your hear, with an act of contrition, and promise Him, ‘Afterward I will go to confession.’ You will return to God’s grace immediately.’

Now – for the record, let me state that I am not Catholic

Therefore – I do not have a personal understanding of some of the traditions and practices

The best that I can ascertain is that the practice of going to a priest would be an attempt to replicate Old Testament practices [where a priest had to represent the people] or an action to honor the New Testament directive to, ‘confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed’ (James 5:16)

HOWEVER – Let us make no mistake

It is essential for us to understand that Jesus is our High Priest

CHRIST is our priest forever – without beginning or end [Hebrews 5:5-6]

We may approach our LORD and GOD, our FATHER and FRIEND directly

Because of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus,

We are able to go directly to God – at any time

                It’s personal ….

It is about a personal relationship – something He desires to have with each of us

At the death of Jesus, the veil was torn –

It was torn, indicating the introduction of personal relationship with the LORD

When that veil was torn it removed the separation which existed between God and man

The tearing of that veil from top to bottom –

It was indicative of a work which could only be performed … by the LORD Himself

TO BE CLEAR –

These are unprecedented times …

In our nation and around the world, this health crisis is removing standard protocols

Churches are having to resort to online services

Individuals are coming face-to-face with the realities of their faith

A  few days ago, I wrote about my grandmother, my Nana

                And I acknowledged the tremendous impact that she had on my faith

She had an impact on my faith – but she was not and is not the source of my faith

You see, relationship with the LORD … it’s personal

It must be received – and then cultivated and developed through personal interaction

                Through personal times of prayer, study, reflections, worship and transparency

In these challenging times, go to the LORD

At all times, go the LORD God Almighty – seek His heart

It’s personal … it’s personal to Him

                He desires a personal relationship at all times

And I believe, just as the verse notes above, many who have died [in our case spiritually],

They are being raised to life.

Have a Blessed Day & Stay Safe

portrait of love ...

Hello Friends–

I pray all is well and that your week is off to a great start

We are almost to the end of February –

                Amazing!

I have to say, I have thoroughly enjoyed our talks on LOVE

And as we near the end of what I like term ‘the month of love’,

What better verse to look at than I Corinthian 13:4-8

‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.’

‘Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured.  It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail].  Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].

 Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]’ I Corinthians 13:48 AMP

‘Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense.  Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.’ I Corinthian 13:4-8 TPT

I love this verse [in all its translations] because it not only defines love in practical terms,

It paints a perfect picture of LOVE

It is so beautiful and can serve as both road map and guardrail –

for how we should love one another

However, this past Sunday at church, I got another picture of love –

                A living portrait of love!

To me, there is nothing more amazing than seeing someone,

operating with their God-given ability & fulfilling their God-given purpose

And, there are those unique times when the anointing of the LORD is so strong –

that you just sit in awe…

I had one of those moments at church Sunday.

My senior pastors, in a rare occurrence, delivered a message together.

The topic? Meant to Be: Questions – Developing Boundaries

It was the final sermon in a series that started the Sunday before Valentine’s Day.

It was a powerful talk on establishing healthy boundaries in your life.

And at the end of that sermon - recognizing that many have failed in the area of boundary establishment (and are now living with consequences and/or regrets – my pastor’s wife sang a song.

It had such an anointing on it and she sings like an absolute angel.

The song? It was simply titled, ‘Clean’ [a song by Natalie Grant]

But it was the look on my pastor’s face that caught my attention.

I had seen that look on her face –

when she would sit on the front row, listening to him teach and preach.

But I think this is the first time I observed that look on his face –

while she spoke and when she sang

IT WAS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!!

They are each other’s greatest cheerleaders - I love it!

It was like a portrait of love ... in living color, live action

Simply Amazing!

If I have said it once, I have probably said it a dozen times,

‘I am a hopeless romantic!’ 

And it doesn’t have to be my story - 

My heart leaps with excitement and joy for any couple,

any couple that has been able to find and hold onto that amazing thing we call love.

My pastors will be celebrating 25 years of marriage this year.

They have been my pastors for 20 years.... 

Yet, I never exhaust the levels of gratitude I have for each of them individually and collectively as a couple. Their life has been such an example and a blessing to me. They are people of integrity. They love with the love of Jesus and they are genuine. And their love is evident to anyone who has been blessed with the privilege of being in their company for any length of time.

In fact – 

I was about to type, ‘if you can find a love like that, hold onto it with all you’ve got.’ 

However, a love like that is not found … it is built

It is firmly established through years of commitment, through good times and bad, with hours of listening, a keen ability to knowing when to keep silent, an unwavering resolve that if anything is going to come against us - it’s going to have to come prepared to fight two because you’ve got each other’s back. It is simply amazing … warms my heart and makes me smile!

That is some kind of special love.

And while we know there is no perfect thing – save our LORD,

I pray your love would be [as much as humanly possible] picture perfect,

a stunning reflection and portrayal of love

I’ve included a link to that sermon in the comments section below,

                Along with a link to Natalie Grant’s song ‘Clean’

Have a Blessed Evening!

LOVE 2020: ROMANCE

Hi There!

Let’s see if I can get this post up today – since it is almost tomorrow

I hope your Monday was fantastic

I have no complaints – and I have my eyes fixed on Valentine’s Week!

Yes – it is not just a day for me

And – in case you have not realized it yet;

I am a hopeless romantic!

I love everything about LOVE –

From the practical and general to the sky-high, give-you-butterflies kind of love

And, I love everything about ROMANCE

What is there not to love?

I would not attempt to define romance –

Especially since it holds such a highly individualized meaning for each person

However, for me, it some of the simpler things which scream romance

Sadly though, I believe true romance has died to an extent

In our hyper-sexualized world, some things have changed

The treasure of a fleeting glance has seemed to lost some of its allure

The sweet and simple [but still passionate] act of holding hands,

Seems to be diminished in value somehow

Yesterday we talked about the ‘little things’

And I have to say – the most romantic  moments I have experienced & witnessed,

                Have been those small but genuine gestures of affection

Telling someone to be careful when their driving;

It might seem like an inconsequential comment –

However, it speaks to someone who is genuinely concerned about another

That is romantic – at least to me

Being able to do ‘nothing’ with someone you care about –

                And having it feel like ‘everything in the world’

That is romantic …

Feeling comfortable enough to be yourself – to truly be yourself;

Sharing your most intriguing thoughts, deepest fears & wildest dreams,

That is romantic!

It is a connection – one that is not formed casually

It is a bonding and a ‘coming together’ intellectually

It is knowing someone and being know by them – and loving each other through it all

The ability to be ‘naked & unashamed’ emotionally – that is something amazing

Romance, Romance, Romance

I know – it is perhaps a bit too simplistic and naïve for some

However – it does something to my heart and I would not trade it for the world;

                Not during Valentine’s week … or ever

Have a Blessed Evening!

THANKS GIVING 2019: GOD MOMENTS

Good Evening Friends

I pray your day was a great one

It is still QUITE COLD here!!!!

Today was an interesting day for me –

I got to experience what I affectionately refer to as a GOD MOMENT

These are times – THESE GOD MOMENTS – when the LORD shows up in such a personal way

They are not regular occurrences.

HOWEVER –

Each time it has happened, it leave me feeling pretty amazing … it lets me know

• I AM LOVED
• I AM REMEMBERED
• I AM PROTECTED & DEFENDED
• I AM CHERISHED

AND – most of all, it leaves me feeling INCREDIBLY THANKFUL

NOW – if you have spent any time here on this page, you are well aware of MY LOVE OF MUSIC

WELL – today was pretty great

I was listening to music at work – like I always do

However, my music frequently times out when I am listening on YouTube

Here is the screen shot of what it looked like today

Now, when this happens, my music stops abruptly until I tap the ‘Yes' to continue listening

TODAY THE MUSIC KEPT PLAYING

AND THE SONG THAT PLAYED WAS ONE I HAD NOT HEARD BEFORE

CECIE’S LULLABY by Steffany Gretzinger

Now, that might not be much of  God Moment to most people – but it was to me

Because of the lyrics, I knew something special was happening;

Something so special that it brought a tear to my eye

THE LYRICS?

Call My name
And I will answer
All you need
It's here inside My arms
Just breathe
And you'll be safe and sound with Me

No one knows you better than Me
No one's been a better Friend

So rock-a-bye baby
Come and rest
You've been tired lately
Lay your head down
Don't you think, baby
I know best
I've been a Father
For a long time

That is not the complete song –

But it is the part of the song that GRABBED MY ATTENTION

It is the part of the song that GRABBED HOLD OF MY HEART

It is the part of the song that let me know, 

IN THAT PRECISE MOMENT – THAT GOD MOMENT,

THAT GOD WAS THINKING OF ME – 

EVERY BIT AS MUCH AS I’VE BEEN THINKING OF HIM … AND MORE!

Moments like the one that happened today are so precious

And I am so thankful every time they occur

It reminds me of my Father’s promises:

• ‘You are chosen…’ I Peter 2:9
• ‘I have inscribed you on the palm of My hands’ Isaiah 49:16
• ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love’ Jeremiah 31:3

AND THAT IS CERTAINLY SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR!

Have a Blessed Evening!

LOVE: LOVE & INTIMACY PT II

Good Evening Friends!

We are almost at the end of this week.

The time is going quickly. LORD I thank You for it; help me to make it all count.

TO THAT END – I am thankful for the opportunity to spend a few moments with you as we continue our discussion on LOVE

Today’s topic: LOVE & INTIMACY – Relational, Physical & Sexual

YESTERDAY – we talked about some of the things that impact spiritual intimacy with GOD

TODAY – I would like to discuss intimacy in natural relationships

YOU WILL RECALL – it has been some time since I have been in a relationship. However, there are a great many things I have learned from past relationships and that I have gleaned through study and observance.

THAT BEING SAID – 

I BELIEVE IT IS FIRST IMPORTANT TO LOOK AT THE DEFINITION OF INTIMACY

FIRST – we have the definition of intimacy which focuses on the relational aspect

THEN – we have the definition of intimacy which focuses on the physical aspect

AND – the differences are important because so often physical & sexual intimacy can become too much of a focus; while relational intimacy can be downplayed or minimized in significance.

§  You can have physical intimacy without having sex;

§  You can have sex – for a while – without relational intimacy;

§  You can have intense relational intimacy without engaging in physical or sexual intimacy

When you consider all three in the context of relationships, the lines can blend and blur

Therefore, I would like to take a look at all three

SEXUAL & PHYSICAL INTIMACY

Sexual & Physical Intimacy – these are not the same thing

Physical intimacy is a type of intimacy –

It can manifest in the manner of a hug, a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold [and might not be sexual at all]. Many people have their own ideas about what Jesus meant when He said, ‘The Son of Man has no place to lay His head.’ Luke 9:58 However, I believe it also is applicable when discussing physical intimacy. Where do you lay your head when you are exhausted? Who is that person whose arms feel like home? When I talked about my top five romantic gestures, having a place to lay my head was on the list – a place to rest my weary mind. And it was not sexual at all … but it was physically intimate. I’m not sure I am explaining this the way I would like but I hope you are understanding my point.

Now, when it comes to sexual intimacy –

I tend to view it as more of an expression of intimacy

Again you can have sex and not have intimacy. There are times, in a marriage, where a couple might still engage in the act of sexual intimacy even though the relational intimacy died some time ago. In these instances – I believe – the  sexual aspect of intimacy will eventually fade as well. This happens [again, my belief and not a rule] since it is difficult to truly and meaningfully be engaged in sexual intimacy without the relational intimacy. You cannot know how to please someone else if you do not know them intricately and trust & honor them unequivocally. Now, if you are in it just for what you can get out of it, you might be able to do that for quite some time without any relational intimacy – but that is a discussion for another day.

RELATIONAL INTIMACY

This is where I like to focus since it is – in my estimation – at the core of all intimacy between two people

INTIMACY IS KNOWLEDGE – PURE AND SIMPLE

It is pure and simple while at the same time powerful and significant

INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE

We will start with some of the pitfalls since many a married person has gotten into a world of trouble sharing relational intimacy with the wrong person. Understand that, when you start sharing hopes and dreams, insecurities and frustrations with someone other than your spouse; you have trekked onto dangerous ground. Some would think it harmless because nothing physical is taking place yet. However, it must be understood that, relational intimacy [especially in-depth & intense relational intimacy] will very often lead to physical and/or sexual intimacy. Remember, sexual intimacy is an expression of relational intimacy [not the only expression, but an expression nonetheless]. You can share information with anyone. However, if you want to protect the total intimacy of your marriage, you must ask yourself whether it is the wise thing to do. ‘Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.’

Now, when intimacy is working within a married relationship, it is a powerful thing. Have you ever observed relational intimacy in action? I have and it is a marvelous and awe-inspiring thing to behold. It causes individuals to transcend beyond the adoration of someone just being their spouse to a tangible and intense partnership where it is visible the value which the two individuals hold for each other in relation to their God-purpose and potential. It is full of encouragement and spurring one another on toward good works. It is a process where – through knowing one another intimately – two people are able to work collaboratively, to be candid with one another, to motivate and inspire each other to be their best selves.

INTIMACY IN COURTING

Now, my single friends are not getting off the hook so easy. Because, while it is easy to identify some of the intimacy pitfalls within a marriage, there are just as many opportunities for missteps outside of [or leading up to] a marriage relationship. Indeed, many a single person has wasted precious time investing in a relationship which lacked relational intimacy. Word of Caution: If you have to beg someone to share information about themselves, they are not interested in a meaningful relationship with you. Relational intimacy involves a desire and intention to know someone and to be known by them. It mirrors the intimate relationship we have with the LORD. And, engaged in thoughtfully and carefully, relational intimacy can go a long way in establishing lasting bonds between two people.

I think we may need to spend one more day on intimacy – but that is all for now.

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening

Wishing You Much Love …

LOVE: LOVE & INTIMACY PT I

Good Evening Friends!

We are past the midpoint of the week!

I pray you had an absolutely wonderful day

It is rainy here in Virginia Beach but I am still full of energy.

I have this wonderful sense that God is in the midst of doing something – PHENOMENAL!

I am also excited to continue our discussion on LOVE

Today’s topic: LOVE & INTIMACY PT I

NOW – I will ask you to bear with me today since I will be tackling this subject from a somewhat different angle than I might ordinarily. I would like to talk about some of the things that contribute to a loss of intimacy with God.

FOR ME – the most recent & applicable example that comes to mind would be my own life

AND – contrary to what it might appear on this blog, I am actually a very private person

SO – this will be a bit of a stretch for me

It all started the beginning of last year –

Ok, it actually began well before that, but last year is when it all began to really unravel. However, I should have known it was going to be an eventful year. Four days in – January 2018 – we had some of the worst snow our region has had in some time. And, unable to get to my mom’s by car, my son and I walked about five miles in twelve inches of snow in subfreezing temps. We both had hypothermia by the time we reached her place at midnight.

But that was just the beginning –

That wonderful experience was followed by an unexpected and substantial financial reversal; then my mom was removed from her home by family and thrown into a horrendous nursing home [a stay which started with individuals telling me that if I did not meet their demands, I would never see her again and ending with her being abused while she was in said facility]. This was followed by the death of my seventeen year old Min-Pin, more financial setbacks, a hospitalization for my mom [with a notice that we needed to look into hospice care] and then her being forced into another less than satisfactory facility.

The LORD finally enabled me to get her somewhere safer in December. But, the challenges throughout the year were somewhat surreal. I even went to counseling at one point – figuring that it would be a bit hypocritical of me if I did not at least give it a try [being that I am studying Psychology with a focus on Christian Counseling]. Well, two sessions in – with my counselor on the couch with tears in her eyes and me sitting in the chair giving her feedback on her business – I thought to myself, ‘Something is wrong with this picture; something really is not right here!’

I had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. But truthfully, it was no laughing matter. Depression had taken a devastating and crippling grip on me. I recall my sister [who was accustomed to me being the encouraging faith-filled one] telling me at one point, ‘You are starting to scare me.’ My response – ‘I am starting to scare myself!’

I say all that to say – Life can hit you hard sometimes.

And if you are not careful, it can destroy your intimacy with God.

There is a saying –

Never get too tired, too hungry or too thirsty

I would probably add to that ‘too lonely, too frustrated and too isolated’ as well

I shared yesterday that we run the risk [and actually face the high probability] of losing intimacy with God when we lose focus, get distracted, stop listening and stop communicating

When there are multiple distractions crashing around you, it is easy to lose focus.

Sometimes, you can scarcely catch your breath before another wave of challenge hits

However, it is in those moments that we must be intentional about fixing our eyes on Jesus.

This is done through spending time with Him.

I know this is not an easy task –

As far as communication goes, there were days when I could only whisper, ‘Jesus, help me please’

There are days when all I could do is weep

Yet any way that you can find to stay connected to Him is worth the effort.

One of the worst effects of losing intimacy is when you start trying to find other things to fill the void; a God-sized hole that only the LORD Himself can fill. And the vain attempts to fill it with anything [or anyone] else can – in a bad situation – lead to the development of sinful habits; and – in a worse situation – can lead to despondency and a feeling of utter hopelessness and numbness. It can become a vicious cycle – like a whirlpool spinning you around, tossing you to and fro, all the while pulling you deeper and deeper into a dark spiritual abyss.

THANKFULLY THERE IS NO HOLE TOO DEEP,

WHERE THE LOVE OF GOD CANNOT REACH … AND RESCUE

No physical, spiritual or emotional pit is too great for the LORD

That is what He did for me

It would take several posts to explain it in detail;

But, the important think for you to know is this:

When you have reached a point that you feel you cannot hold onto faith,

     That is when faith holds on to you

You see – this relationship with the LORD, this intimacy; It is not one-sided.

He longs for that closeness and connection every bit as much as we do

And He is willing to fight for it … He loves you that much

§  ‘The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you … [He] will rejoice over you with singing.’ Zephaniah 3:17

§  While we were yet sinners [lost, trapped and without hope], Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

§  He rescues from the miry pit. Psalm 40:2

§  ‘To all who mourn …He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.’ Isaiah 61:3

BUT EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS TWO-SIDED

AND YOU MUST DO YOUR PART TO MAINTAIN INTIMACY

§  Talk to Him – speak, write, sing, pray, cry … scream if you must [He can handle it]

§  Be Real – even if some of the frustration you feel is toward Him [trust me, He already knows]

§  Keep Seeking Him – even if you can only read one sentence

§  In my book, When Storms Rage, I note: When you cannot see God or hear God or feel God – you should read God. You will find His voice and you will find His character and nature there

Do whatever you must but never stop pursuing intimacy with God ..

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening

Wishing You Much Love …

LOVE: VALENTINE'S 365

Good Afternoon Friends!

I hope you all had a fabulous Valentine’s Day … FULL OF LOVE!

My intention was to write yesterday. But it turned out to be quite a day. Up at 3AM [unable to sleep]; traveled five hours for a meeting which was supposed to take all of a half hour – but ended up taking five hours; then a 6-hour drive back. Let me say that exhaustion [physical, emotional & mental], coupled with heavy traffic and crazy drivers [compounded by the fact that I am not even supposed to drive at night] – well it did not make for a great combination. I did not get home until midnight. However, on a brighter note, I finally managed to sleep in on a Saturday!

Shifting the focus off of me and back to us –

I have truly enjoyed our series on love

And, as promised, our discussion on love will continue

BECAUSE LOVE DOES NOT END WITH VALENTINE’S DAY

We need to understand –

The love that is demonstrated on Valentine’s Day…

It should be an all year thing and not a one day thing

NOW – 

I am not saying that there should be all the fanfare which accompanies Valentine’s Day

HOWEVER – 

There certainly should be the creativity and intentionality which accompanies Valentine’s Day

GENTLEMEN – if flowers are an expression of your love for that special lady, it should not only be on Valentine’s Day. It should be spontaneous and done randomly throughout the year. HINT: it would be less expensive at any other time of the year

LADIES – if you love how your guy smells, buy that special gift of cologne any time of the year to surprise him. Men appreciate unexpected thoughtful gestures as much as we ladies do. HINT: Buy the scented shower gel too and get creative planning an entire evening of romance [this hint is, of course, for my married friends]

ALL – if a special meal was the choice for a love-filled evening on Valentine’s Day, keep in mind that restaurants are open all year round. HINT: So is your kitchen…

PARENTS – if sweet surprises were the order of your love-demonstration for your family; candies, chocolates, cakes and brownies are available at any time during the year. My family loves when I make a dessert for no other reason than I thought they might enjoy it. HINT: It also gives you a plausible excuse for relaxing any dietary disciplines you might have in place J

FRIENDS – if you took time to let people know how much they are loved and thought of on Valentine’s Day; those expressions of care and concerns go a long way at all times of the year.

The main point is that we have 365 days a year to demonstrate: LOVE

We have daily opportunities to be intentional about our demonstrations of LOVE

YOU SEE – the primary reasons there such displays on Valentine’s Day is … EXPECTATION

It is understood and expected that there will be demonstrations of love

We can argue the correctness of it some other time while still recognizing the reality of it today

BUT – WHAT IS GOD’S EXPECTATION?

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” John 13:34

AND HE HAS LOVED US LAVISHLY AND LOVES US DAILY

“I have loved you  … with an everlasting [continual, never-ending, eternal, ceaseless, perpetual, undying & unending] love.” Jeremiah 31:3

HINT: That is some kind of love … we should follow suit!

I am going to go back to relaxing now … and recovering from yesterday

Praying You Have a Blessed Day

     & Wishing You Much Love …

LOVE: IT IS SO ROMANTIC!

Hi There Friends!

I pray you have had a fantastic day!

I am thankful that I have made it past the middle of the week,

And that I get to continue our series on LOVE

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and my Friday!!!

TODAY – our discussion is about the romantic nature of love

LOVE IS SO ROMANTIC!   OK – NOT ALWAYS

HOWEVER – WHEN LOVE IS ROMANTIC … IT IS AMAZING! 

Of all our discussions on love –

This is one my favorite love topics

I told you I am a hopeless romantic – a staunch believer in the power of love

So, to me, powerful expressions of love just do something to me. I understand that, for some [especially if they have been single as long as I have], they do not want to hear about LOVE. However, I celebrate with those who have found love and I eagerly await the day the LORD will unfold His plans for me [whatever those plans may entail]

TODAY – I will be keeping things light. I have simply come up with two lists:

1.       My top three romantic exchanges in film [and why I find them romantic]

2.       My personal top five most romantic gestures

(Now – one thing you should know about me by now is that I do not believe in saying more than I feel is necessary to make my point. So, while a five and five list would make more natural sense – a three and five list is what I’ve prepared. I will thank you in advance for your forgiveness.)

WITH THAT SAID – LET’S GET STARTED

MOVIES & TELEVISION

Romance is a Bonus Book –

·         “When Dan-I smiles, I am happy. When Dan-I cries, my heart breaks and it drives me crazy. When she struggles, I struggle too. I miss her when she is not with me. If that’s love, I guess I love her then.”  When told that he needs to share his feelings with her and asked if he is being too careful, he responds: “Yes I’m being careful. But I’m going to be way more careful – that people might think I’m indecisive. I want to check 100 more times how deep my feelings are. I also want to wait until the day my feelings are reciprocated by hers. She’s not someone I can easily date and breakup with. To me, Dan-I is that important to me.” [Korean Netflix Series: Male lead Eun-Ho [played by Lee Jon-suk], ironically talking to his ex-girlfriend about his feelings for female lead Dan-I [played by Lee Na-young]

·         Why is this romantic? Because he is being so honest about his feelings. When we as women often think that men are always ‘cool, calm & collected’, this scene reveals some of the insecurities of men – wanting to be sure that their feelings will be reciprocated before they’ll take a chance. And, he shares how he is willing to take things slow because she is so special that he doesn’t want to mess it up. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE – Super Sweet!

The Notebook –

·       Noah asks Allie, “Will you just stay with me?” and her response is, “Stay with you? What for? Look at us – we’re already fightin’!” What happens next is quite the declaration from Noah: “Well that’s what we do, we fight … You tell me when I’m being an arrogant son-of-a-b^#*! and I tell you when you’re being a pain in the a** … which you are 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. They have  like a two-second rebound rate, and you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-a** thing ... So, it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be really hard and we’re going to have to work at this every day. But I want to do that, because I want you. I want all you forever … you and me … every day.”

·       Where’s the romance in a fight scene? First allow me to apologize for selecting a scene with some ‘flowery’ language. However, I LOVE the realness of this scene. There are no false expectations here. They both know it is going to be a challenge. However, knowing this, they still ultimately decide to make a go of it. When you are in a relationship where you can be yourself, be honest, and vulnerable and direct – WHERE YOU CAN KEEP IT 100% REAL – you have something pretty special.

To Sir With Love –

·       Very limited dialogue here … it is just a dance, ladies choice (there’s a link in the comments section). And, if you are familiar with the film, you know that the young lady in the scene is fully enamored with her teacher, Mark Thackeray who is referred to by his students simply as, ‘Sir’ [played by the ever-dashing Sidney Poitier]. Ever the gentleman and responsible adult, Sir is able to let Pamela know that there will not be anything between them. Yet, he honors his word to give her one dance and tells her at the end, “The whole world’s waiting for you … you’re a smasher!”

·       How could this possibly be romantic, you might ask? Well, there is something sweet, and tender and brilliant about falling for someone – even when it is unrequited. To me, it introduces the hope of what could be some day [not with that individual … but some day, with somebody]. For someone who might not have ever experienced those types of feelings for another, it is an awakening experience. I love the purity of this scene where they are still able to laugh, to dance and to act silly – and to part as friendly acquaintances – even when the romantic feelings are not the same. Ironically, it is not a romance film at all … more of a coming of age [maturing] movie which also tackles race relations, class and micro- & macro- inequities. It helps us understand that some relationships come into your life simply to educate you, to mature you and get you ready for what’s next. One of my all-time favorites.

NOW – LET’S TACKLE MY LIST (counting down to #1)

·       The Mom-Seatbelt: Any mom who has children knows what this is. You brake too hard in the vehicle and your protective instincts kick in and that arm immediately goes out to the right (in the States) and slams that child to the seat as if: 1. your arm is stronger than the seatbelt they are wearing 2. your arm really would stop any crushing metal forcibly coming toward your passenger if you were in a wreck. This is what he did when we almost had a head-on collision. He wasn’t concerned about himself. He wasn’t concerned about his luxury vehicle. He was concerned about my safety. Still give me chills & goosebumps!

·       Nap Time: We had not seen each other in eight years. And, sitting on a couch, I fell asleep with my head on his chest. And he sat there, his arms wrapped around me and let me sleep for almost two hours. I apologized profusely when I woke up! But he shushed me, told me it was perfectly fine; that it made him feel great that I could be completely relaxed in his presence and get some much needed rest. So sweet!

·       What I Think of You: He said, “I think you are a very intelligent woman, and beautiful … and might I add … sexy” Something about the order of those compliments … It still makes me smile!

·       Five Simple Words: He simply & sincerely said, “Tell me what you need.” Who would think that five little words could be so powerful; could evoke such a reaction? Enough said … moving on …

·       My Lady: We were walking down an avenue in Boston. It was a bit chilly and there was snow and slush and cold murky water on the streets. He took my hand, and gently guided me … to the inside of the sidewalk – so that if anything splashed up by passing vehicles, it would hit him first. That was thirty-years ago if that gives you any idea of the impact it left. There is nothing more romantic than genuine care & concern. Wow!

SO, THERE ARE THEY ARE –  MY LISTS

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE LOVE & ROMANCE

What is at the top of your romance list?

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day!!!!

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening 

     & Wishing You Much Love …