LOVE: LOVES BOUNDARIES PT II

Greetings Friends

I pray your day went well

My day was utterly exhausting – however, it will make for sweet sleep tonight

As promised, today we will be rounding out our review of LOVE LOVES BOUNDARIES

Yesterday, I touched on some of the wisdom of boundaries and the discipline it establishes in our lives. Today, I would like to follow that up with a closer look at some of the benefits of boundaries.

As we keep in mind what we discussed yesterday, we are reminded that:

·         Boundaries provide framework today for success tomorrow

·         Establishing solid and meaningful boundaries is an investment which yields tremendous dividends

Healthy boundaries are a tremendous benefit and a LOVE THAT LOVES BOUNDARIES – PRICELESS!

BENEFITS OF BOUNDARIES

Provide Protection – boundaries provide protection; they set guards around one’s mind, one’s heart, one’s home & one’s life. When I make a decision to employ godly principles, it protects me from external attacks – and internal ones as well [Ephesians 6:12-17]

Enhances Life – boundaries work to enhance the life of the all involved. It sets clear expectations, facilitates meaningful dialogues and equips all for success

Accommodates Accountability – boundaries help to establish accountability. If there is no standard for life and for love, the result which often ensues is chaos. Once I have made a decision, I am accountable to that decision.

Create Structure – boundaries create a much needed framework for living. They stand as guardrails helping to keep lives and plans from derailing.

Ease Decision Making – the effective employment of boundaries sets in motion the creation of structure which eases decision making. If the love that one spouse has for another is a love that loves boundaries, it makes the decision in advance that it will not share intimate marriage details with someone of the opposite sex. This one boundary establishing decision helps to eliminate more difficult questions which could arise during a late work night or a business trip. When a life is lived based upon principles and boundaries, many decisions are made before the question ever arises

In short – boundaries [and the discipline invoked by them] create P.E.A.C.E

Proverbs 25:28 tells us that a person without self-control [without discipline and boundaries] is like a city broken down and without walls – subject to all types of calamities and invasions. This is not the way to live an abundant life. This is also not love. Scripture tells us that no discipline feels good but that in the end it reaps a harvest of righteousness and peace. [Hebrew 12:11]

Understand, though, that it is not just about establishing a bunch of rigid rules and regulations. Boundaries established in love and by love are wisdom for experiencing the best life possible. And love – true love – not only establishes boundaries but it also honors boundaries

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening and a Great Day Tomorrow!

Wishing You Much Love …

LOVE: LOVES BOUNDARIES PT I

Happy Monday!

OK – so Monday is just about over

However, that is all the more reason to celebrate –

Those things you might have been worried about yesterday, or thought you could not face today ... they did not conquer you – you are still standing!

SO – yesterday I talked about how LOVE SELFLESSLY PROVIDES

Through that post we understand that this does not mean that one does not desire things for self. Instead, there are times when LOVE overrides those individual desires – in exchange for what is best for all

HOWEVER – I would like provide some additional context for our chat yesterday.

Unfortunately, as a human race, we can be extremists – in the worst way

This is why it is important to follow-up with today’s message so that we understand;

WHILE LOVE SELFLESSLY PROVIDES – TRUE LOVE ALSO LOVES BOUNDARIES

YESTERDAY – I talked about the selfless giving of my middle son.

However, that giving [particularly this past weekend] came with some much needed counsel

The giving was supplemented with much needed words of wisdom;

There were pointers given, to caution against being a doormat for others, to be better positioned for the future

Why? Because love is eternal – and being eternal, it cannot merely concern itself with today

There is an old saying,

‘Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day;

     Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime’

This is what boundaries do for us –  

They provide a framework today for success tomorrow;

Establishing solid and meaningful boundaries is an investment which yields tremendous dividends

My youngest son has been sharing in this process of love with boundaries

However – his is from a health standpoint. My eldest son has done the same in the past.

They are my accountability partners

And – with the recent passing of my cousin and health concerns with my mom, my youngest has become very intentional about helping me manage my health. He is demonstrating his love by enacting boundaries and helping me to establish my own. He checks to make sure I have taken my medication; he will not share foods with me that he feels will compromise my well-being; and he has formulated parts of a fitness regime and follows-up to ensure I am following it daily.

Why? Because LOVE LOVES BOUNDARIES

Love, true love recognizes the benefit of discipline

Yet, even that is not sufficient

That love – the love which loves boundaries – must be received and embraced

My middle son made an observation a couple of weeks ago;

He said, ‘It must be very difficult as a parent when you encounter situations where your children know better than you do.’ I responded that it is humbling. However, it the most blessed feeling to have one’s children surpass them in knowledge or wisdom.

Psalm 127:4 notes that ‘Children are a blessing from the LORD … Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.’

That is such a powerful image!

And isn’t that what every parent desires? For their children to aim higher and go farther.

NEVER LET PRIDE KEEP YOU FROM EMBRACING A LOVE WHICH LOVES AND ESTABLISHES BOUNDARIES - EVEN IF IT IS FROM YOUR OWN CHILDREN

Tomorrow, we will delve deeper into the benefits of boundaries and discipline in 

LOVE: LOVES BOUNDARIES PT II

Then, we will spend a few days talking about BROTHERLY/PHILEO LOVE

And, we will round it all out by moving into EROS LOVE –

We will stay there into next week and through Valentine’s Day

I am truly loving this LOVE JOURNEY

I hope you are as well

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening!

Wishing You Much Love …

‘Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence’ Proverbs 15:32

Trusted ... in flames

Good Morning Friends!

Happy Saturday to you. It is quite frigid here in Virginia Beach, VA today.

However, it has created the perfect opportunity to sit quietly in the house with a comforting cup of coffee – a very large one. It was much needed after my day yesterday. And, while I will not go into detail, it got me thinking back to a post that I had written several years ago, ‘Trusted ... with the flame, in the flame’

In that post, I shared a verse from Leviticus 6:12-13 ‘The fire on the altar must be kept burning; it must not go out. Every morning the priest is to add firewood and arrange the burnt offering on the fire and burn the fat of the fellowship offerings on it. The fire must be kept burning on the altar continuously; it must not go out’

That verse speaks to a time when the priests had the responsibility of interceding on behalf of the people. In the post, I noted how we – as the people of God – now have an individual and personal responsibility to ensure that the flame [our passion, commitment and zeal] does not go out. It should not be extinguished. But, it is also not just about us individually.

‘Those who have demonstrated an ability to be trusted with the flame can likewise be trusted in the flames.’

This morning I started off reading the book of Job, verse 42:10

‘After Job prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.’

Now – it has been long debated the reasons for all of the calamities which Job encountered [losing children, riches, favor, friends, wealth and health]. Although, God Himself declared – before granting the enemy permission to test him – declared, “There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

So – why is there such debate over what happened to Job?

I believe, people would like to find fault with Job as some sort of justification for the intense suffering he endured. They find it hard to grasp that the LORD would permit such devastation to someone who was righteous. They would like to convince themselves that if they only avoid whatever it is that Job did, that the same catastrophes will not happen to them. Yet, what most people fail to realize is that, Job’s losses may have had less to do with him and more to do with his wife, his friends, his extended family and other individuals where he lived.

Job knew who he served and in whom he had placed his trust. He was like the individual who would not let the flame of his passion for the LORD to be extinguished. He proved he could be trusted with the flame – and therefore was trusted in the flames.

It was his friends who needed to have an encounter with the LORD. God Himself said of them, “My wrath is kindled against you and against your two friends, because you have not spoken of Me what is right as My servant Job has.” Job 42:7

His wife, siblings and neighbors likely experienced a benefit from his situation as well.

Because the LORD is always focused on drawing people to Himself, and because Job demonstrated faithfulness in being trusted with the flame, he was likewise trusted with the flames of trial. Yet even in these circumstances, he had a choice on whether to remain in the circumstance. His wife encouraged him to ‘curse God and die!’ [Job 2:9] How is that for encouragement?! Yet Job was unmoved.

Years ago – the LORD asked me this question:

‘Will you stay in the fire long enough for someone else to see Jesus?’

Job – he stayed in the fire, granting those around him the ability to see the LORD. And, we have no idea the full impact that he had within the sphere of influence that the LORD entrusted him with.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego – they literally stayed in the fire long enough for others to see Jesus [Daniel 3:16-29]

Daniel – he stayed in the fire [also known as the lion’s den] long enough for others to know [to see] the God who saved him and kept him [Daniel 6:19-27]

Paul – he stayed in the fire of persecution, challenges and repeated imprisonments so that others could see Jesus [Acts 16:25-34; Acts 28:17-20, 30]

So, I ask you this…

§  Have you kept your flame for the LORD burning bright?

§  Have you demonstrated your ability to be trusted with the flame?

§  Are you using your flame [your passion & drive for the LORD] to be a service to others?

§  Can you be trusted in the flames?

§  Will you stay in the fire long enough for someone else to see Jesus?

I don’t know what your ‘fire’ is. However, it must be understood that you drawing near to God and having a passion for Him will never be the only requirement. It is a good start but never the end. One’s passion for God must overflow into collaboration with God – to reach a hurting world.

‘Those who have demonstrated an ability to be trusted with the flame can likewise be trusted in the flames.’

A little perspective helps make any challenge a little more bearable.

Praying the rest of your weekend is peace-full, purpose-driven, relaxing & rejuvenating.

Blessings!   

WHATSOEVER ...

“whatsoever ye shall ask in My name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in My name, I will do it.” John 14:13-14

As I read my devotional yesterday morning, I was struck by a section of text. It came from an entry in Streams in the Desert. I have been reading this book for years and have purchased more copies as gifts for friends (and strangers) than I can recall. It is an exceptional book which ‘speaks’ in different ways as you grow spiritually. If you have the opportunity, I would highly recommend picking up a copy. Anyways … I digress … back to yesterday’s devotional.

It was one of the lengthier devotional entries – yet every bit powerful. The entry was talking about the struggles which some believers face in this journey called life. And this is what gripped me, “They had asked they knew not what, nor how, but He had taken them at their word, and granted them all their petitions.”

“He had taken them at their word”

TWO DAYS AGO – I was talking to my youngest son and we were both commenting on what a challenging year it has been [more challenging than the year we lost our home and ended up homeless – if that helps to put it in perspective]

HOWEVER – as I thought about the challenges yesterday morning – and the incredible way all three of my sons have stepped up and been such a special support to me – I was reminded of a prayer I uttered when I became a single mom. One of my dear friends had bought me a card and given me a gift for Father’s Day. And, while I was moved by the gesture and her compliments of me doing an excellent job of mom and dad, it was then that I was smacked with the reality that – no matter how hard I tried – I could never be dad. So I found myself crying out.

        ‘LORD – I do not know, as a woman, how to teach boys to become men. Help them become men – godly, powerful, generous, responsible men.’

This year – more than any of the prior years – I have seen many of those qualities manifest in different ways.

HOWEVER – had I known that developmental process would have taken me down the paths I have been this year … I might have asked for something different.

YET – He took me at my word

There is another section to that devotional text that I read yesterday morning which stated:

Understand this –

When you or I petition Heaven – the LORD GOD Almighty takes us at our word and is faithful to His promise that ‘WHATSOEVER WE ASK – WE SHALL RECEIVE’

When Mary received a visitation from the angel of the LORD, she vocalized her desire, ‘I am the LORD’s servant. May it be done to me according to your word.’ She may have been unaware of the ridicule and danger and discomfort which would occur before she held the Blessed Baby Jesus in her arms.

BUT – He, the LORD – took her at her word.

When I prayed that He would make my sons men. I was unaware of the circumstances we would face which would shape those qualities in them – the situations which would take place to grant them opportunity to arise to manhood.

But, He, the LORD – took me at my word.

When you, dear friend and reader, have prayed in humility and sincerity, ‘Make me like Jesus’

He, the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY – takes you at your word.

It may not always be pretty or comfortable.

But – it may very well be exactly what you asked for.

Embrace the process and know

He is working all things together for your good and His glory.

God Bless …