the hurting hurt

‘This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘Return to Me’, declares the LORD Almighty, ‘and I will return to you’, says the LORD.’  Zechariah 1:3

 

Earlier this year, I wrote a post about ‘the hurting’

It was focused on a gentleman I happened to meet in the store one day. He shared some of his challenges that he experienced, and, in the course of sharing, he mentioned challenges he faced at work due to harassment from some people.

In that post, I noted: ‘… not all bullies mature and change – sometimes they just grow up to become bigger bullies’

I meant what I said – and still do

And I would never make an excuse for someone’s vicious behavior toward another human being. However, there is always another perspective – even when considering the meanness of people

 I am currently in school taking a behavior modification course

And, for some reason, my class assignment this week had me thinking of the hurting - not those who suffer hurt like the gentleman I met but those who do the hurting

I was reading a section of the book Behavior Modification where it notes “behavioral research with nonhuman subjects demonstrated that aggressive behavior and other emotional responses may occur when painful stimuli are presented …”¹

So what does that mean?

It means when a subject experienced a painful stimuli, that same subject lashed out. Further, the subject lashed out at one who was not responsible for presenting the painful stimuli. Their fury rested on the nearest target they could find.

This process is not unique to nonhuman subjects

It is true of human individuals as well

It is a well-established fact that hurt people hurt people

The first documented act of premeditated murder demonstrates this

Cain and Abel, the first brothers mentioned in the Bible both presented offerings to the LORD. Abel gave the fat portions from the firstborn of his flock and Cain gave an offering as well. And Scripture notes:

‘The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering He did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.

Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.” Genesis 4:4-8

Our Scripture reference is lengthy today – please accept my apologies. But it is necessary to understand the whole story.

Rejection is a powerful and painful stimuli

Yet we must  each own our individual reactions

‘We are tempted when we are drawn away and trapped by our own evil desires. Then our evil desires conceive and give birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.’ James 1:14-15

Giving birth to death – what a concept

Sin gives life to a life-taking source

Cain allowed his anger to fester, to mushroom and then to drive him to murder his own brother. But, understand, there is nothing to indicate that Abel actually did anything to Cain. So what was Abel guilty of? What was his great sin?

What did Abel do that was deserving of a murder sentence?

He was loved and approved of by the Father – that is all

Amazing isn’t it? 

What one small seed of rejection can blossom into when planted and cultivated. The sin of jealousy, bitterness and uncontrolled anger – will make one do the unthinkable. It will cause brother to turn against brother, child against parent,  husband against wife – created against the Creator.

What makes me believe that rejection played a role in Cain’s heinous acts?

When confronted with his sin and forced with facing the consequences of his action, his first thoughts and comments were this, “My punishment is more than I can bear … You are driving me from the land and I will be hidden from Your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.' Genesis 4:13-14

It was not until after he voiced words pointing to his concern of being separated from the LORD, that he made mention of his physical safety.

Hurt people hurt people

The hurting hurt others - sometimes

We cannot know for certain why Cain killed Abel or what motivated him

We also understand that not all people who have been hurt hurt others

Yet, sin is always crouching at the door – and we must master it

Cain’s sin against his brother was egregious

He killed his brother, caused grief for his parents and hurt the LORD

Yet the LORD – even after all this – still loved Cain

And He made provision for Cain’s protection.

What a mighty, loving and indescribably gracious God we have!

 

Today – I am praying

I am praying for those who have been hurt by those who are hurting

I am asking God’s hand of protection for those being plotted against

And, I am praying for the hurting who hurt others and themselves

I am praying they would have a genuine encounter with the LORD; one that would take them from feeling hurt and rejected to healed and restored

I am also praying for you.

 

Have a Blessed Day!

 

‘To all who mourn in Israel He will give: beauty for ashes;

joy instead of mourning; praise instead of heaviness.’

Isaiah 61:3

 

¹ Miltenberger, R. (2016). Behavior modification principles and procedures. Cengage Learning.

someone's someone

Good Morning Friends

I pray and trust that all is going well with you

I will be attending church – online – in a couple of hours

Then I will be spending the day with my guys

But I wanted to share this post this morning – one of my longer posts

I guess I am feeling really reflective after my evening last night,

When I encountered someone – an individual – in the parking lot

 

She was wrapped up in a blanket sitting with cart and a few of her belongings

She had no sign  and she was not begging –

She was just trying to stay warm ... and safe

 

We live in a fallen world –

As a result we will experience trouble – everyone, in one way or another

It may not be to same extent but all will experience challenges

Yet, we can take heart that ‘Jesus has overcome the world’ [John 16:33]

He works with us through situations and circumstances;

He brings beauty from our ashes so we can share beauty with others

He does not comfort us to make us comfortable; 

          He comforts us to make us comforters

He has established us as His Ambassadors of Hope in the earth

But we still must accept the job and commit to doing it faithfully

I drove past initially –

I had gone to the store and was on the way home to make dinner

I made it all the way to the rotary drive outside of my neighborhood

But, something kept pressing upon my heart – someone’s someone was on my heart

                                                 

So I turned around and drove all the way back to the shopping center

I went into a department store and purchased a few items;

Then I stopped at a restaurant and picked up a meal and bottled water

I honked my horn and spoke to her from my car

My heart was moved because I remembered that first night of homelessness

                With my sons and our dog back in 2011

I had always thought it would have been easier to handle if it was just me;

                I so wished my children did not have to be exposed to that

However, in hindsight, there was strength and safety in numbers

 

Initially, this woman did not want to accept what I offered

She was very much afraid – I could see it in her eyes

So, I explained that I had seen her when I was at the pharmacy earlier;

And that I had come back and just stopped at the store and restaurant

Then I got out of my vehicle and handed her the package

She was so very thankful … for the kindness

I spoke a blessing over her and we parted ways

 

Now, I normally do not speak of it when I give anything to anyone

This has also been a slightly different ‘love month’ for us than usual – thus far

But I think it is so important to talk about some of these things

It is so important to think about each someone we are blessed to encounter

They are everywhere and all around us

And they are someone’s someone –

Someone’s daughter, son, mom, dad, brother, sister, neighbor, friend

Most importantly, they are God’s someone

 

I wish that I were in a position to do more

But I will not let that stop me from doing what I can

And I pray you will not be stopped in doing anything you are able to do

Whatever situation God allows you to face – pray for His wisdom

It is not an all or nothing situation

We do not have to change the entire world –

We need only do what we can to bless the people He allows to enter our world

 

The message never changes –

‘Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind … 'Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22-37, 39

Love God, Love People

There are people that God desires to reach and He is counting on us

We are actually more important than any of us will ever realize

He is not looking for perfection – just partnership and participation

We can make  difference in someone’s life today ... 

          Let's make a difference in someone’s life today

Have a Blessed Day!

how far it goes

The weekend is here – and I have only two significant items on the agenda:

1. Watching the Superbowl with my guys tomorrow!
2. A milestone birthday celebration for my eldest son!

So I will be getting ready to run some errands to make sure I have all I need

But, I wanted to share this quick post first ...the term 'quick’ being entirely subjective 

 You never actually know ... how far my post will go 

Yesterday I shared a post about a gentleman I met at the store on Thursday

And even as I wrote, I honestly thought, I’ll probably never see him again’

Virginia Beach is a fairly large city – 

It is in the top 50 largest of all cities in the United States – for size & population

Well, yesterday afternoon I went to drop my youngest son off at work

And as I got ready to leave, who do you think was entering as I was exiting?

My new friend … and his trusty side-kick, of course!

To say I was surprised would be quite the understatement

Now, I don’t know how he felt following our impromptu meeting on Thursday

But I do know that he shared how isolated he had been feeling,

And he shared his reservations of having to interact with people

Yet, here he was venturing out, again, not twenty-four hours after our encounter

 

So, why am I sharing this and what does it have to do with our love journey?

You never know the impact you can have in the life another – just by being kind

I cannot say that our interaction on Thursday had any impact on his journey Friday

But I also cannot say definitely that it did not have some impact – even if it was minuscule

The point is you never know

That kindness you display to another person – you never know how far it will go

 

Today I am praying

That the LORD will make us all sensitive to the opportunities all around us

That He would open our eyes to see the needs of others

That we would slow down enough to make time for someone else

That we would submit to His will and partner with Him – in touching lives

That we would consent to be a ‘pebble’ ...

          If it would help in sending ripples of His love throughout the earth

May the LORD bless you and keep you today

Have a Wonderful Day & Weekend!

the hurting ...

It is Friday –

And just like that we are almost through the first week of February

I woke up this morning before my alarm went off

And one of the first thoughts was of the gentleman I met yesterday

I met him while I was shopping at Lowe’s – a local home improvement store

Now – it might not seem like it here, but I am very much an introvert

There are people who have never met a stranger – – I am not one of those people 

For me, it is highly unusual to just stop and talk to someone

However, if there is one thing that will stop me in my tracks – it is a precious doggo

I commented on how sweet she was and – there began a conversation

 

She was an emotional support/service dog –

And she was every bit adorable and focused at the same time

Her companion/owner suffers from IED [Intermittent Explosive Disorder]

And he started explaining to me all the challenges he has faced as a result of his illness

He explained the difficulty of wanting to interact with people but being fearful – not knowing what will trigger his disorder or when. He described the medications – which he advised 'helps some' – but makes him feel not like himself and unintelligent

My heart was breaking for him as he talked – and I listened

He talked about the challenges at work – not only as a result of the illness, but of the meanness of people. You see not all bullies mature and change – sometimes they just grow up to be bigger bullies; workplace terrorists. The challenges ultimately resulted in him being placed on permanent disability.

I understood fully as he talked about the extreme workplace harassment

I empathized – and I listened

He talked about the lack of friends and relationships and the extreme isolation it causes;

He explained the profound loneliness which has only been compounded by the pandemic

And I listened

He got his adorable side-kick at the beginning of the pandemic – last year

But you would think they had been together for five years seeing them together

He talked about a fitness tool he was building – and his faith in the LORD

He did most of the talking – and I listened

We talked for about twenty minutes

And when we got ready to part ways, I told him how nice it was to talk to him

He responded, ‘I’ll see you around … I hope I will’

 

Now –

It might not seem like it, but this topic has every bit to do with our focus on love

There are hurting people – all around us, every day

Some are just looking for someone to talk to

They are desiring fellowship and hoping that someone will take a chance on them

Know today – there is a God who loves

He loves you and He loves all of them – whoever the ‘them’ may be in your life

 

Today – I am praying

I am praying for all of the lonely and the hurting

I am crying out to the LORD to help this world of ours

I am believing and trusting that I will see His goodness – evident in every sector of society

I am praying that His power, presence and healing will be in the life of my new friend,

In a powerful and tangible way

I am praying for all of you as well – that the LORD’s hand will rest upon you;

That He will cause blessings and favor to abound in your life

May He bless you and keep you …

Have a Blessed Day!