LOVE 2020: INTENTIONAL LOVE

Good Evening Friends …

It is almost the weekend – and I cannot wait

While this season of love is my favorite season,

There were several things that I was not loving today

It is rainy and yucky tonight –

In fact, as I sat at the light on my way home, it went from ‘just starting to rain’ …

to ‘full-on' downpour, wind gusts and zero visibility’ in about 30-seconds

But it is not just the weather –

Today was ONE OF THOSE DAYS

It was one of those days which causes me to draw upon everything I write here.

So – today I would like to 100% transparent – as we talk about INTENTIONAL LOVE

There will always be days when you do not like some of the things that people do;

                Or the people that do them

And on those days, you have to make a conscious decision to love people;

understanding that there are days when people don’t like you [or what you do] also

Most days I am able to handle it pretty well.

Even as a read a verse this past …

I felt that I could not co-sign the sentiments of the psalmist

The verse read ‘Cut off my enemies and destroy all those who afflict my soul’ Ps. 143:2

But – that is not my desire

Truly it is not … most days

Today was a different kind of day

Today was a “God, I want You to get them now” kind of day

But I know that was just my sinful flesh rising up

And something happened later this evening as I sat in my car, watching the rain fall

I had to stop and think –

I had to think about all the times He mercifully kept me;
     where He did not 'get me', but instead spared me

I also had to stop and think about the fact this attitude,
     my attitude, was not His will

It was not reflective of the character that He has been cultivating;
     it did demonstrate the spiritual development He was been crafting,
     through all of these challenging circumstances


He is developing in me peace; not strife
He is developing in me patience; not frustration
He is developing in me kindness; not bitterness and vengefulness
He is developing in me long-suffering; not short-temperedness

If you have any interactions with people at any point throughout your day –

                There will be occasions to be offended

In fact, Jesus [the LORD of all things possible] said,

‘It is impossible that no offenses will come ...’ Luke17:1

We are encouraged not to be easily offended [Col. 3:13]

And – as much is possible – our aim should be that we not be the cause of offense

INTENTIONAL LOVE

It is not an easy thing

But, it is a God-honoring thing

AFTER ALL –

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” Galatians 5:22

AND –

I … I am still a work in progress

I had a dear friend, someone very special to me;

And when I would get frazzled and frustrated – going on a rant,

They would simply say, ‘Tomorrow is a new day…’

And with that, I will say, ‘Good Night…’

Praying you have a blessed day tomorrow

God Bless & Much Love  

THANKS GIVING 2019: INTENTIONAL THANKS

Good Evening Friends …

     Happy Monday!

I pray your week is off to a good start

Today was a decent day – until I went to my doctor’s office

NOW – I could let it ruin my entire evening

HOWEVER – I choose instead to focus on something positive

It is my INTENTION 

     To keep my eyes fixed on what is good and lovely and praiseworthy

     Like spending some time here with all of you

So – what is the focus for TODAY’S THANKS GIVING?

INTENTIONAL THANKS

Webster’s define intentional as: done on purpose; deliberate

Sometimes, that has to be the nature of our attitude –

WE HAVE TO MAKE A CONCERTED EFFORT TO NOT JUST FEEL THANKFUL

     BUT TO EXPRESS THAT FEELING OF THANKFULNESS

THANKS IS AN EVERY DAY THING

This is a card which I had purchased for someone I consider very dear

Unfortunately, though, despite my best intention to deliver it –

It is still in my possession … A FULL YEAR LATER

And while this particular greeting did not make it to its intended recipient,

It holds a timeless message which is applicable every day of the year –

     And NOT JUST AT THANKSGIVING

Wishing you JOY

A day for GRATITUDE

A day for SHARING

A day for REMEMBERING THE SPECIAL PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES

You may not get a second chance to express the thanks you feel today

I know this, not intellectually but experientially.

SO WHY NOT EXPRESS YOUR GRATITUDE TODAY?!

The inside of that card?

It says: Thanksgiving wishes, for a day that’s filled with happiness, thankfulness, friendship, and fun.

YET – this is my prayer every day for the people I love

And I make it a point to EXPRESS GRATITUDE –

As frequently as I feel it, as often and as quickly as possible

I am sure you have a couple of special people in your life as well:

• People who make you smile every time you think about them;
• People who give you a reason to thank God that He created them
• People who make your heart warm at the thought of how blessed you are to know them

SO – carve out some time to tell them

BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT IT!

Don’t hold back, thinking that there is always time,

that there will always be another opportunity.

There is not always another chance to do what you might have done today –

to say what you might have said today.

And, you just might be the bright, shining light to someone’s dark and challenging day –

And that is something to be thankful for.

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening!

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things” Philippians 4:8

LOVE: IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS

Hi There Friends!

I pray you have had a fantastic week!

It is hard to believe we have reached the end of February already

And with that end comes the close of our focus on LOVE

I have thoroughly enjoyed this series!

With all we have discussed about LOVE,

I know no better place to end than with this powerful reminder:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” I Cor. 13:4-7

I also love the way the Message Version defines LOVE:

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “Me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies

When you meditate on the definition of love and apply it to every relationship;

You will be absolutely amazed at the result!

Love for God, Love for Self, Love for Others –

There is nothing like the power of TRUE LOVE

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening

Wishing You Much Love …

LOVE: IT IS NOT LIKE ...

Hi Friends!

Only two more days until Valentine’s Day!!!

Can you tell I am just a bit excited?

I love this time of year!

Actually, I love loving on people all the time – any excuse to get creative and do something nice: Buy a gift, cook a meal, bake a cake … you name … I’m all in!

AND, NOW – we continue our discussion on LOVE

YESTERDAY – we talked about how LOVE IS NOT LIKE LUST … AND LUST IS NOT LOVE

TODAY, we will be focusing on the second area of what love is not like –

SO – where do we begin in evaluating what love is not like?

WE START AND END RIGHT HERE … LOVE IS NOT ‘LIKE’

This is important because many people confuse ‘like’ with love

And others think that love is dependent upon ‘like’

So, let’s get the confusion part out of the way first since it is easiest to tackle

If someone says, ‘I like you’ – it is a pretty safe bet to take that at face value

The have communicated they like you – AND THAT IS ALL

If they have not even communicated that … be realistic!

When someone says ‘I love you’ – however – this is a different situation

It can often be taken more serious than ‘I like you’ –

However, there should still be some corresponding action

After all, some people will say anything:

To avoid hurting your feelings, to make you feel good or to get what they want

NOW – I am not one for playing games

I don’t play them with people and my expectation is that they not be played with me

Generally speaking – I say what I mean and I mean what I say

I do not believe in playing cat & mouse, hiding & chasing games.

THAT BEING SAID HOWEVER –

I still hold onto something my pastor has shared in the past: ‘The proof is in the pursuit’

UNDERSTAND THIS –

WHAT WE WANT – WE GO AFTER – WE PURSUE IT

When we want to spend time with someone;

Even if we cannot find an extra minute in our day under normal circumstances;

We will ‘find’ time to be with that individual.

Things and relationships which are a priority to us get prioritized in our lives

If we ‘like’ someone – we might not put forth the additional effort

But if we ‘love’ someone – we are like me with Valentine’s Day – WE ARE ALL IN!

We make a conscious decision and are intentional in ensuring 'talk' with a 'credible walk’

So, ‘LOVE is LOVE’ and ‘LIKE is LIKE’ and we must not get the two confused

This brings us to the second half of our discussion on ‘LOVE IS NOT LIKE…’

AND THIS IS IT ... LOVE IS NOT DEPENDENT UPON ‘LIKE’

I always found it so sweet when I would listen to my pastor talk about how he would get off work and then drive many miles just to spend a short time with the beautiful woman who is now his wife. His story of pursuit was not a situation based upon game-playing; it was a story of commitment and determination. He may not have ‘liked’ the tiredness, the long drive or the distance between them. But he ‘loved’ her and that took precedence. I believe he understood what I am hoping to convey today.

LOVE IS NOT LIKE and LOVE IS NOT DEPENDENT UPON ‘LIKE’

Once you are in a committed relationship [marriage or serious dating] –

It is important to understand that love is not like and it is not dependent upon it

We talked about love yesterday and how love is a choice and a resolve.

This is important because there will not always be romantic feelings

And during these times, it will be necessary to rely upon the unconditional & intentional aspect of love

Love is mature when ‘like’ does not get its way and wants to behave childishly

Love says ‘I’m sorry’ even when it feels it was wronged; 

     when it does not like how it was treated

Love stays when ‘like’ walks out the door.

Love gives even when ‘like’ has faded because it feels the other person is selfish

I may not ‘like’ what someone says or does but that does not determine my ‘love’ for them

I can ‘not like’ you [at the moment] and still ‘love’ you [with a lasting love]

LOVE IS NOT LIKE and LOVE IS NOT DEPENDENT UPON ‘LIKE’

The problem arises when LIKE is made to be equal with LOVE

This is when people start making decisions which have far-reaching consequences

·       I do not like my spouse [today]; therefore, I no longer have to honor the [everyday] love commitment that I made?

·       I do not like the way my mate looks; so I can allow my eyes to wander?

Absolutely Not – 

Love honors even when it does not like; ‘love’ stays focused when ‘like’ is waning or fleeting

In my book, When Storms Rage, when discussing the need to Count the Costs,

I discuss how Jesus set the perfect example for us;

     ‘for the joy set before Him, Christ endured the cross’ Hebrews 12:2

He possessed a ‘complete and proper perspective which enabled Him to endure…’

The love Jesus had for God and for humanity [for us] overrode the dislike of His situation

Yes – that is an extreme example. 

     Generally speaking, no one  is being asked to lay down their life.

But – you might be required to lay down your pride; 

     Which can be harder [for many of us] than dying.

LOVE IS GREATER THAN LIKE

So, never allow ‘like’ [or dislike] to stand in the way of how you respond in ‘love’

And, never forget LOVE IS NOT LIKE – AND LOVE IS NOT DEPENDENT UPON ‘LIKE’

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening!

Wishing You Much Love …

LOVE: IT IS NOT ...

Good Evening

I pray your week is off to a great start.

Only three more days until Valentine’s Day!!!

TODAY – we continue our discussion on LOVE;

However, we will not be focusing on the types of love and what love is;

We will be looking at what love is not

This segment in our journey is important. However, I feel I might lose a few of you.

I have struggled with whether to share this post but I must be transparent with my own failures.

Failure does not negate truth.

It may impact whether that truth is received by others – but it does not negate truth

Failure is not final. It can be utilized to create success in the lives of others

While you should learn from your own mistakes; you are miles ahead if you can learn from the mistakes of others

WITH THAT SAID – HERE IT GOES

Today is important because we will be focusing on the first of two areas I would like us to take a look at what love is not:

·         LOVE IS NOT ‘LUST’

·         LOVE IS NOT ‘LIKE’

LUST - 

We will begin with lust and follow up with like tomorrow.

LOVE IS NOT LUST & LUST IS NOT LOVE

The Cambridge dictionary defines lust as:

1. a very strong sexual desire: 2. a very powerful feeling of wanting something: 3. strong desire:

And one can lust for many things – for power, for influence, for finances.

However, for the sake of our discussion today, we will focus on the ‘very strong sexual desire’ definition. Lust is a strong desire to satisfy a fleshly hunger.

So, why is it important to understand that LOVE IS NOT LUST.

It is important because lust often gets confused with love. It is also important because it can fast-track a relationship when things should be moving  at a slower pace. And it is not just what you do physically, but what you fantasize about and what you speak about. Scripture notes that if you think lustfully, you have already committed adultery in your heart [Mt. 5:28]

I shared previously that I have not been on the dating or relationship scene for seventeen years. However – that does not mean that there has not been failure in this area. I have had conversations which would make some married people blush – conversations I am not proud of and which required me to turn [to repent] and to get back in the presence of God to get my priorities straight. I do not share this because it is comfortable or because it is anything to boast about. I share it in order to, prayerfully, help someone else avoid the same missteps and to help people understand that this is what can happen when proper boundaries are not maintained; when established boundaries are not tended to.

Is passionate conversation wrong?

No – not in and of it itself and within proper context.

The problem is when it is taken out of context and timing and rushed.

The Song of Solomon warns against arousing and awaking love [sexual desire] before it is time. [v 8:4] The Message Version of that same verse says: ‘Do not excite love, do not stir it up, until the time is ripe – and you are ready’.

‘All things should be done decent and in order’ [I Cor. 14:40].

Yet, this is not always the case, especially when lust – instead of love – is the focus.

I have been in my current home for three years – however, I still call it my ‘new house’. And, of all the things I love about my home, one the items at the top of that list has to be the fireplace. In my old house, we had a wood burning fireplace and – most likely because I lacked the discipline to get the chimney swept regularly – I probably only used twice in the fourteen years that I lived there. However, my ‘new house’ – with its three stories – is a different story. I love my fireplace and use it often. And, because it is a gas fireplace, all I have to do is hit the switch on the wall and … FIRE!!!

It is beautiful! It creates a relaxing atmosphere, it provides warmth and it is pleasant to look at. The fire and flames are mesmerizing and they make for an absolutely wonderful experience … because they are properly contained within my fireplace behind a glass enclosure.

However – if you take that same fire and place it in the center of my living room – it becomes a destructive force with the potential to harm me, to compromise the safety of my loved ones, to destroy everything I have worked to achieve and potentially impact my future as well – all because the fire was taken out of its proper setting [the fireplace].

THIS IS HOW IT IS WITH LUST

There is nothing wrong with fire – with passion [and dare I say eroticism] – in its proper context; in its proper setting  which is a committed marriage relationship between husband and wife where each is respectful of the other. Anything outside of this, however, is like that fire if it were to be placed in the center of my living room. It is foolish, dangerous, destructive and has long-lasting consequences.

I remember one of the last Christmases that I spent in Boston, MA where I grew up. It was Christmas evening and the smell from the fireplace suddenly seemed especially strong. It was because there was more burning than the logs in the hearth. My brother’s room was on fire – his cat had knocked over a candle he left burning. We were all safe and the firefighters were able to contain that damage to his room and part of the attic space near his room. However, over a year later, you could still see traces of smoke damage from the fire. And I do not believe the cat ever got rid of the dark gray color that the smoke gave him. All because of one moment of carelessness.

Likewise – a fire of passion – ignited in the wrong context and allowed to burn recklessly is simply not wise. AND IT IS NOT LOVE.

It has far-reaching and damaging effects and should be avoided by all - single and married.

Remember – you do not have to make all your own mistakes; you can learn from the mistakes of others.

LOVE IS NOT LUST – AND – LUST IS NOT LOVE

It is not love toward the other person and it is not love toward self.

‘Do you not know that he who sins sexually sins against his own body?’ [I Cor. 6:18]

And, even if there is no physical contact – there can still be the establishment of unhealthy  emotional ties and debilitating strongholds in the life of the individual – areas where guilt and shame take control, where purpose is tainted and potential is thwarted; where reputations can be destroyed, hearts broken and dreams shattered

Remember that David’s sin began with a glance. In actuality, his sin began the day he decided to neglect his boundaries and borders. ‘At the time when kings go off to war’ [II Sam. 11:1] – David was AT HOME; somewhere he should not have been, with idle time on his hands, lounging on his rooftop and clearly without accountability to himself, his wife [wives] or anyone else.

Our executive pastor shared in his sermon yesterday, “My devotion determines the direction and destiny of my life.” So I ask, ‘What will you be devoted to? Lust or Love? The desires of the flesh or the purposes of God?

I share this not to bring condemnation upon anyone or to act like I have lived the perfect life. These are questions I had to ask when I saw myself veering off course. I share this to demonstrate how easy it is to get off track. It is also my hope that something shared here will help introduce freedom into the life of one in our reading community by sharing what not to do. If you are in a romantic relationship, hopefully what has been shared will provide some pointers to help secure the borders & boundaries. If you are still seeking a romantic relationship, perhaps something here [some added perspective] will help with avoiding dangerous pitfalls and confusing lust with love.

Even if you began in lust, you can still turn and finish in love.

If you are currently in a relationship which you thought was love – and are realizing it is actually rooted in lust, lacking boundaries, out its proper context and devoid of its God intended purpose – YOU CAN TURN

The enemy may not want you to forget; the world may not ever forgive;

BUT THE LORD – He says that anyone who is in Christ is a new creation; the old is passed away, behold all things are new [II Cor. 5:17]

His mercies are new every morning.

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening!

Wishing You Much Love …

LOVE: LET'S TALK ABOUT IT...

Good Evening Friends!

It’s Friday!!!

And I do not know about you, but I am especially thankful for – THE WEEKEND!

We are less than a week before Valentine’s Day

And this is where our discussion gets really fun – not that it has not been enjoyable thus far

However - as I engage with others online,

I am often amazed by the number of individuals who are seeking – that special someone. When I read short messages from well-known speakers [about finding love], I am in awe when I see the number of responses; male and female. You would think that at least some of them would connect with one another. But one thing is certain – there are many, many, many in search of love.

THEREFORE –

I would like for us to have a very candid discussion over the next few days

I have spent time reading, meditating and praying that I can conquer this subject with tact, and in a way that provides some meaningful perspective. We will be discussing EROS LOVE.

AND –

I would also like to take the opportunity to apologize in advance in the event that any of my comments may give rise to offense. Please understand that is not my intention. However, I would like to be as honest and transparent as possible over the next few days. While I believe that I will not be sharing anything earth-shattering, I do also believe that some of things that I will be sharing are things which are not addressed often enough – particularly in a Christian context.

NOW –

Please allow me to say at the onset off this next series of posts on LOVE; I do not pretend or proclaim to be an expert. I have not been on a date or had sex in seventeen years [yes, we are going to get that candid] So – you might ask – what qualifies you to speak on the subject?

There is nothing in my natural ability which qualifies me. I have made my share of mistakes and missteps [some of which we will talk about & the lessons learned]. However, I do believe what the Word of the LORD says in Isaiah 50:4, ‘The LORD has given me an instructed tongue, that I should know how to deliver a word in season to him who is weary.’  I have held this verse close to my heart [for quite some time] - when writing my posts, when authoring my book and in conversations with dear friends. Therefore, I am hopeful that He will bless me with some meaningful words to say on this topic as well.

ALSO –

If six days before Valentine’s Day is not the season, I am not sure what is.

And, based upon what I am seeing online and hearing in discussions, there are many who are weary

So ... with that in mind: LET’S GET STARTED!

We have talked about AGAPE LOVE

     Agape love is godly and selfless;

We have talked about STORGE LOVE

     Storge love is communal and relational, based upon family love

 We have touched briefly on PHILEO LOVE

     Phileo love is friendly, brotherly & mutually shared

And now, I would like to talk about EROS LOVE

     EROS LOVE – this love is romantic and passionate!

     EROS LOVE is an intense intimacy shared;

          The original concept being that it is not something that is casually shared.

EROS is also the Greek word where we find the root of our English word/concept – erotic

Now – there are many that do not care for that word. It typically carries with it ideas of shameful, risqué and lascivious behavior and portrayals. These ideas are probably why this topic is not discussed much. However - I do not believe this to be the only viewpoint or an accurate one. There is a concept of the term which is focused heavily on sexual/physical activities & immorality. Yet there is a differing viewpoint – in my opinion – which concentrates on the deeper complexities of sexuality.

Over the next few days –

We will talk about some of the differences in perspective of EROS LOVE

We will take a short re-visit to PHILEO LOVE and its importance in EROS LOVE

We will circle back to love and its boundaries & the role they play in EROS LOVE

We will talk about success and caution points as relates to EROS LOVE

These are just a few items we will delve into. And, I am so looking forward to this!

  

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening!

I Will Chat with You Tomorrow … Wishing You Much Love

LOVE: LOVES BOUNDARIES PT II

Greetings Friends

I pray your day went well

My day was utterly exhausting – however, it will make for sweet sleep tonight

As promised, today we will be rounding out our review of LOVE LOVES BOUNDARIES

Yesterday, I touched on some of the wisdom of boundaries and the discipline it establishes in our lives. Today, I would like to follow that up with a closer look at some of the benefits of boundaries.

As we keep in mind what we discussed yesterday, we are reminded that:

·         Boundaries provide framework today for success tomorrow

·         Establishing solid and meaningful boundaries is an investment which yields tremendous dividends

Healthy boundaries are a tremendous benefit and a LOVE THAT LOVES BOUNDARIES – PRICELESS!

BENEFITS OF BOUNDARIES

Provide Protection – boundaries provide protection; they set guards around one’s mind, one’s heart, one’s home & one’s life. When I make a decision to employ godly principles, it protects me from external attacks – and internal ones as well [Ephesians 6:12-17]

Enhances Life – boundaries work to enhance the life of the all involved. It sets clear expectations, facilitates meaningful dialogues and equips all for success

Accommodates Accountability – boundaries help to establish accountability. If there is no standard for life and for love, the result which often ensues is chaos. Once I have made a decision, I am accountable to that decision.

Create Structure – boundaries create a much needed framework for living. They stand as guardrails helping to keep lives and plans from derailing.

Ease Decision Making – the effective employment of boundaries sets in motion the creation of structure which eases decision making. If the love that one spouse has for another is a love that loves boundaries, it makes the decision in advance that it will not share intimate marriage details with someone of the opposite sex. This one boundary establishing decision helps to eliminate more difficult questions which could arise during a late work night or a business trip. When a life is lived based upon principles and boundaries, many decisions are made before the question ever arises

In short – boundaries [and the discipline invoked by them] create P.E.A.C.E

Proverbs 25:28 tells us that a person without self-control [without discipline and boundaries] is like a city broken down and without walls – subject to all types of calamities and invasions. This is not the way to live an abundant life. This is also not love. Scripture tells us that no discipline feels good but that in the end it reaps a harvest of righteousness and peace. [Hebrew 12:11]

Understand, though, that it is not just about establishing a bunch of rigid rules and regulations. Boundaries established in love and by love are wisdom for experiencing the best life possible. And love – true love – not only establishes boundaries but it also honors boundaries

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening and a Great Day Tomorrow!

Wishing You Much Love …

LOVE: LOVES BOUNDARIES PT I

Happy Monday!

OK – so Monday is just about over

However, that is all the more reason to celebrate –

Those things you might have been worried about yesterday, or thought you could not face today ... they did not conquer you – you are still standing!

SO – yesterday I talked about how LOVE SELFLESSLY PROVIDES

Through that post we understand that this does not mean that one does not desire things for self. Instead, there are times when LOVE overrides those individual desires – in exchange for what is best for all

HOWEVER – I would like provide some additional context for our chat yesterday.

Unfortunately, as a human race, we can be extremists – in the worst way

This is why it is important to follow-up with today’s message so that we understand;

WHILE LOVE SELFLESSLY PROVIDES – TRUE LOVE ALSO LOVES BOUNDARIES

YESTERDAY – I talked about the selfless giving of my middle son.

However, that giving [particularly this past weekend] came with some much needed counsel

The giving was supplemented with much needed words of wisdom;

There were pointers given, to caution against being a doormat for others, to be better positioned for the future

Why? Because love is eternal – and being eternal, it cannot merely concern itself with today

There is an old saying,

‘Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day;

     Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime’

This is what boundaries do for us –  

They provide a framework today for success tomorrow;

Establishing solid and meaningful boundaries is an investment which yields tremendous dividends

My youngest son has been sharing in this process of love with boundaries

However – his is from a health standpoint. My eldest son has done the same in the past.

They are my accountability partners

And – with the recent passing of my cousin and health concerns with my mom, my youngest has become very intentional about helping me manage my health. He is demonstrating his love by enacting boundaries and helping me to establish my own. He checks to make sure I have taken my medication; he will not share foods with me that he feels will compromise my well-being; and he has formulated parts of a fitness regime and follows-up to ensure I am following it daily.

Why? Because LOVE LOVES BOUNDARIES

Love, true love recognizes the benefit of discipline

Yet, even that is not sufficient

That love – the love which loves boundaries – must be received and embraced

My middle son made an observation a couple of weeks ago;

He said, ‘It must be very difficult as a parent when you encounter situations where your children know better than you do.’ I responded that it is humbling. However, it the most blessed feeling to have one’s children surpass them in knowledge or wisdom.

Psalm 127:4 notes that ‘Children are a blessing from the LORD … Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.’

That is such a powerful image!

And isn’t that what every parent desires? For their children to aim higher and go farther.

NEVER LET PRIDE KEEP YOU FROM EMBRACING A LOVE WHICH LOVES AND ESTABLISHES BOUNDARIES - EVEN IF IT IS FROM YOUR OWN CHILDREN

Tomorrow, we will delve deeper into the benefits of boundaries and discipline in 

LOVE: LOVES BOUNDARIES PT II

Then, we will spend a few days talking about BROTHERLY/PHILEO LOVE

And, we will round it all out by moving into EROS LOVE –

We will stay there into next week and through Valentine’s Day

I am truly loving this LOVE JOURNEY

I hope you are as well

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening!

Wishing You Much Love …

‘Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence’ Proverbs 15:32

LOVE: SELFLESSLY PROVIDES

Good Evening Friends!

I pray you have had a great day and weekend

It is Super Bowl Sunday here in the US – basically another national holiday for most of us

My guys are all upstairs, watching the game, eating food and having drinks

I will join them in a few minutes. But first I had to post this message.

And yes, I am spending one more day on this concept of STORGE/FAMILY LOVE

It is the love which has been manifesting in my home all weekend.

It is a blessing having three sons.

Nothing gives me greater joy than when I hear what I hear tonight.

I am downstairs in my room typing away

And they are laughing and conversing and just enjoying the company of one another.

That joy will only be multiplied once any of them gets married and our family expands.

I once asked my middle son – quite some time ago – when he was going to start dating

His response was shocking as he looked me square in my eyes and said, ‘Mom, I am a selfish being. I like to spend my time the way I want to spend my time; I like to spend my money the way I want to spend my money and I am not willing to compromise right now. So, why get into a relationship and frustrate someone and have them frustrate me?”

I was completely taken aback at his declaration – 

However, I had to give him give points for being honest & candid

YET – the truth of the matter is that he is anything but selfish

He is one of the most generous and responsible people I know.

Without intending to do so, he has modeled my love message for today.

He possesses a love which selflessly looks toward the needs of others.

NOW – do I believe he still likes to spend his time & money the way he desires? YES!

HOWEVER – he lovingly places those desires second when he recognizes a greater need.

He is a pretty special man!

·         He understands the importance of a man looking after his own family: Taking to heart [even if unconsciously] that one who does not provide for his own family is worse than an infidel [I Timothy 5:8]

·         He demonstrates a love which lays down personal desires: He repeatedly esteems others more than himself. [Philippians 2:3]

·         He puts action behind his love: He embodies Philippians 2:4 which reminds and encourages believers: ‘Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.’

All of these qualities are so important in a family

It demonstrates how LOVE SELFLESSLY PROVIDES

I am truly blessed … and so very thankful

Praying You Have a Blessed Evening and Week!

Wishing You Much Love …

“A new command I give you; Love one another.

As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34

Trusted ... in flames

Good Morning Friends!

Happy Saturday to you. It is quite frigid here in Virginia Beach, VA today.

However, it has created the perfect opportunity to sit quietly in the house with a comforting cup of coffee – a very large one. It was much needed after my day yesterday. And, while I will not go into detail, it got me thinking back to a post that I had written several years ago, ‘Trusted ... with the flame, in the flame’

In that post, I shared a verse from Leviticus 6:12-13 ‘The fire on the altar must be kept burning; it must not go out. Every morning the priest is to add firewood and arrange the burnt offering on the fire and burn the fat of the fellowship offerings on it. The fire must be kept burning on the altar continuously; it must not go out’

That verse speaks to a time when the priests had the responsibility of interceding on behalf of the people. In the post, I noted how we – as the people of God – now have an individual and personal responsibility to ensure that the flame [our passion, commitment and zeal] does not go out. It should not be extinguished. But, it is also not just about us individually.

‘Those who have demonstrated an ability to be trusted with the flame can likewise be trusted in the flames.’

This morning I started off reading the book of Job, verse 42:10

‘After Job prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before.’

Now – it has been long debated the reasons for all of the calamities which Job encountered [losing children, riches, favor, friends, wealth and health]. Although, God Himself declared – before granting the enemy permission to test him – declared, “There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

So – why is there such debate over what happened to Job?

I believe, people would like to find fault with Job as some sort of justification for the intense suffering he endured. They find it hard to grasp that the LORD would permit such devastation to someone who was righteous. They would like to convince themselves that if they only avoid whatever it is that Job did, that the same catastrophes will not happen to them. Yet, what most people fail to realize is that, Job’s losses may have had less to do with him and more to do with his wife, his friends, his extended family and other individuals where he lived.

Job knew who he served and in whom he had placed his trust. He was like the individual who would not let the flame of his passion for the LORD to be extinguished. He proved he could be trusted with the flame – and therefore was trusted in the flames.

It was his friends who needed to have an encounter with the LORD. God Himself said of them, “My wrath is kindled against you and against your two friends, because you have not spoken of Me what is right as My servant Job has.” Job 42:7

His wife, siblings and neighbors likely experienced a benefit from his situation as well.

Because the LORD is always focused on drawing people to Himself, and because Job demonstrated faithfulness in being trusted with the flame, he was likewise trusted with the flames of trial. Yet even in these circumstances, he had a choice on whether to remain in the circumstance. His wife encouraged him to ‘curse God and die!’ [Job 2:9] How is that for encouragement?! Yet Job was unmoved.

Years ago – the LORD asked me this question:

‘Will you stay in the fire long enough for someone else to see Jesus?’

Job – he stayed in the fire, granting those around him the ability to see the LORD. And, we have no idea the full impact that he had within the sphere of influence that the LORD entrusted him with.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego – they literally stayed in the fire long enough for others to see Jesus [Daniel 3:16-29]

Daniel – he stayed in the fire [also known as the lion’s den] long enough for others to know [to see] the God who saved him and kept him [Daniel 6:19-27]

Paul – he stayed in the fire of persecution, challenges and repeated imprisonments so that others could see Jesus [Acts 16:25-34; Acts 28:17-20, 30]

So, I ask you this…

§  Have you kept your flame for the LORD burning bright?

§  Have you demonstrated your ability to be trusted with the flame?

§  Are you using your flame [your passion & drive for the LORD] to be a service to others?

§  Can you be trusted in the flames?

§  Will you stay in the fire long enough for someone else to see Jesus?

I don’t know what your ‘fire’ is. However, it must be understood that you drawing near to God and having a passion for Him will never be the only requirement. It is a good start but never the end. One’s passion for God must overflow into collaboration with God – to reach a hurting world.

‘Those who have demonstrated an ability to be trusted with the flame can likewise be trusted in the flames.’

A little perspective helps make any challenge a little more bearable.

Praying the rest of your weekend is peace-full, purpose-driven, relaxing & rejuvenating.

Blessings!