WSR: BREATHLESS

Greetings …

I pray all is well with you tonight - 

Even as I am full aware and saddened that THINGS ARE NOT WELL

They are not well in our spirits

They are not well in our emotions

They are not well in our nation … the United States

‘United’ … that is strong word

Thus far, 2020 has seen us ‘united’ –

United is witnessing the tremendous loss of life due to COVID-19

United in enduring restrictions due to COVID-19

United is disbelief of a MAN being gunned down by vigilantes

United in shock and horror of the life being squeezed out of a MAN

Yet, despite all of these instances of being united –

There remains such great disunity and division

It leaves me BREATHLESS

My heart aches tonight –

Part of it is because I am still attempting to cope with the loss of my mother two weeks ago. However, part of it is because of the tremendous injustices which take place on a continual basis. It resurfaced intense feelings and opinions regarding injustices in this world – regarding my mom, regarding our communities, regarding our society at large and regarding myself. This has been a hard year and it is only the end of May.

Again, it leaves me BREATHLESS

When I viewed the video of George Floyd –

it filled me with intense and profound sadness.

I was sad for this MAN

I was sad for his family

I was sad for our communities

I was sad for black people – men and women

That could have been one of my sons

That could have been one of my nephews, one of my cousins

That could have been my brother or my Father

That could have been me –

I have had the ‘discussion’ with my sons – in an attempt to try to preserve their lives if ever they have an encounter with the police. And they have had encounters. Thankfully, they have lived through the encounters. But it is a real concern. I am concerned every time they leave the house. This should not be.

I have been profiled by the police – pulled over by two police cruisers for a working ‘non-working’ tail light. One approached on the right, one approached on the left – and I sat terrified, knowing full well that one wrong move by me could mean I would never see my sons again. This should not be.

DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME –

I am not anti-police. My cousin was a police officer, my ex-husband was a police officer and a corrections officer. I have great deal of respect for law enforcement officers and the unique challenges they face on a daily basis. But, like any field of employment, there are good and there are bad. When it is bad … it is very bad, and sadly, often directed at people of color. But that is not the only thing that has me troubled.

I am saddened at the violence being perpetrated by civilians; I am overwhelmed at the destruction taking place in cities throughout our nation.

There are protesters who should have the right to peacefully demonstrate. They are attempting to draw much needed attention to the disparities which exist in our communities. And then there are terrorists who are bent on destruction and dishonest gain. They should be ashamed of themselves and they should be arrested. ALL THE INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE BEEN OUT IN THE STREETS FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS – THEY ARE NOT ALL THE SAME.

There are peaceful protesters who should have the right to peacefully demonstrate.

Yet sadly, there are many who will continue to ignore the voice, the cries of the protesters – using as an excuse or justification, the actions of the terrorists. This should not be.

 

UNDERSTAND, THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE EVEN IN HOW MANY POLICE VIEW AND TREAT WHITE AND NON-WHITE PROTESTERS

 

When there were protests to have the country open back up, some of those protesters, white protesters, were screaming right in the face of police officers. Contrast that with a video from New York last evening where a young black man, hands raised and standing in front of an officer, was approached by that officer, had his mask removed by that officer and was pepper-sprayed in the face by that officer. This should not be. I love all people – but I am also not blind to disparities based upon race and socio-economic factors.

I’m saddened and overwhelmed and BREATHLESS.

I do not know what the answer is …

I have been having some hard discussions with the LORD

I do not understand how or why wickedness seems to prevail in so many instances. It has been a triggering situation for me – unearthing painful feelings associated with many of the injustices I have witnessed and endured … both generally and personally.

However, this I do know –

‘I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.’  Psalm 27:13

This is what I am clinging to this evening.

 

I pray you have a blessed and safe evening –

I pray you will join me in praying for our world