Think I'm Gonna Throw-Up!

Sunday morning, I started the day full of energy – thanking God for another day, ready to get up and get going. And as I sat in my bed, I heard the door downstairs. My mom was getting ready to leave for church. When she leaves, I’m usually asleep and when she gets back, I’m gone. So, I popped up out of bed to go tell her ‘good morning and have an awesome time at church’.

I got to the top of the stairs, took one step and – my feet decided to do something different.

Down I went, stair by stair on my tailbone and back until I reached two or three stairs from the bottom.

OUCH!!!

It knocked the wind right out of me and it hurt – BADLY!

I think mom almost had a heart attack. She helped me to the living room chair and declared she was staying home. I told her that was not needed since I was not going to be home. I was going to church.

I shook it off, limped back upstairs, took my shower and got ready for church. It wasn’t too bad – still hurt a little but I thought, ‘thank God it wasn’t worse.’ By the end of church it was hurting more. By the time I got home and got dinner started – worse. By the time dinner was served – EXCRUCIATING!

Mom was attentive, the kids were attentive. And I, well I was just in pain – LOTS OF PAIN. Monday was just as bad, except now the legs, back, shoulders and arms were hurting in addition to my bruised tailbone.

It made it hard to sleep, hard to eat [not necessarily a bad thing since I need to lose weight] and, at one point yesterday, the pain was so great it made me nauseous. I can’t recall pain so great that it made me feel like throwing up.

Out of my pain, I found myself praying for people who experience physical pain on a regular basis. And later, as I listened to a preacher talk about people whose minds are tired, I thought about the people who are hurting emotionally. It was 3AM and I could not stop thinking about the hurting people who say to themselves daily, ‘I think I’m gonna throw-up!’

Only thing is, they can’t throw-up. Some are just nauseous from all that life has thrown their way – emotional wounds caused by divorce, unemployment, insecurity, sickness, child troubles, financial devastation and bondages of sin – just to name a few.

They would like to get rid of all that stuff that is turning their stomachs but it is hard. I feel for them. I mean, I would rather throw-up and be done with it than to feel like I’m going to throw-up all day long.

When my kids were little and one of them would get sick, they would feel better after they threw-up. Now, sometimes they had to throw-up three or four times before they got it all out – but they did and eventually they felt better. It created a mess at times, got on me sometimes and caused all of us some sleepless nights. But, it was all worth it to see them made well.

That is NOT how it is with church folks.

It’s not that we’re not compassionate. For the most part, if we see someone struggling physically, we empathize. We pray for them, we understand their pain and we do what we can to assist – like my fall down the stairs, the subsequent pain and the help/attention from friends and family.

Where the church seems to miss the mark is with the emotional illness that people struggle with – so many, IN THE CHURCH, are sick in their soul and spirit.

They have been wounded.
They have faced disappointments.
They are concerned and confused.
And many are suffering in silence.

They keep rehearsing the words in their mind:
‘I think I’m gonna throw-up’
‘I think I’m gonna throw-up’
‘I think I’m gonna throw-up’
‘I wish I could just go ahead and throw-up, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll feel better’

BUT THEY CAN’T –

WHY? Why can’t they throw-up?

Because every time they try, some other well-intentioned believer shoves a scripture down their throat and all the emotional vomit with it. They unintentionally, but emphatically tell them to reject the reality of the feelings they are experiencing.

Ludicrous thought?

Maybe the answer is ‘yes’ and maybe ‘no’. But, how ridiculous would it have been for me to tell my then three year old son not to throw up? Fruitless – although even I have to admit that there were times when I tried to get my son to ‘hold it’ as I ran, carrying him to the bathroom. Let me tell you, one time of that – and the awful trail left on the carpet from the bedroom to the bathroom – quickly taught me to place a waste basket beside the bed. Because, once it starts, you really cannot stop it until it’s done.

And that is the reason – I believe – that so many Christians have selected avoidance as the preferred coping mechanism. We don’t want to deal with the ‘emotional upchuck’ of others – it is messy, it might get on me, I might start getting sick myself [because I’m really not as strong as I pretend to be] and once it gets going, who knows when it will stop. Ever notice how when you really go through something, many of the associates [and some of the friends] disappear? They don’t know what to do or what to say and they know it could get messy. So they avoid you.

Now, we’ll never admit that. It sounds too selfish and superficial. And we are too spiritual. We view it as a sign of weakness and spiritual immaturity if someone [a believer] has the audacity to say something actually hurts when pain is inflicted. We say, ‘no weapon formed against you shall prosper.’ And, while the weapon will not ultimately prosper against me, TODAY IT HURTS.

We have adopted as an anthem, ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ [by Frankie not Fergie]

Now, please do not misunderstand my intent.

I am not in any way suggesting that we do not encourage or admonish one another with the Word of God. We are supposed to ‘speak to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs’ and we should. (Col. 3:16)

I am also not suggesting that we are to create a co-dependent atmosphere with our brothers and sisters in Christ where we wallow in our sorrows and have prolonged pity parties.

Much to the contrary – when I have had the privilege of providing spiritual mentoring to dear female friends, I have [on occasion] been known to tell them, ‘This is no time for diapers or pull-ups. Put on your big girl panties and handle your business.’ I’m not picking on the ladies (this feedback is for every believer) but the majority of my interactions are with other women. Further, those who have received this somewhat stern, but focusing admonition know that it emanates from a deep well of love and true friendship which refuses to let them stagnate in their spiritual development.

However, there are times when tough spiritual love is not the prescription for the malady.

There are times when God tells me,
‘Let them cry’
‘Let them yell’
‘Let them curl up’
‘Give them a hug’ – something which takes me out of my comfort zone – WAY OUT

But I do it – not because it is comfortable – but because it is what is needed at the time. And, He has commanded me to 'rejoice with those who are rejoicing and TO WEEP WITH THOSE WHO WEEP'. (Rom. 12:15)

Jesus wept! (Jn. 11:35)

He identified with the pain of His friends and He demonstrated love and compassion in response to their heartache. He gave them permission, by His actions – as One fully enveloped by the Spirit of God – He gave them permission to grieve.

He gave them permission to throw-up.

In essence, He let them know that He could handle their pain. He could FEEL their pain. He didn’t mind if it got messy. He didn’t mind the odor. He didn’t mind the crying. He could even handle the disappointment and anger – because He knew that healing and wholeness follows the purging of those painful emotions. He doesn’t ask that we ignore our emotions. After all, He did give them to us. But He does require that we not be overrun and controlled by emotion.

Throughout the Old Testament, we see the practice of putting sick people [those with leprosy and issues of blood] out of the camp. Even in the New Testament, we see those with spiritual/emotional problems living outside of the city limits. The goal in each case was to ensure that the entire town does not become impacted by the illness, natural or spiritual.

That, however, was before we had the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Jesus could deal directly with the sick and hurting and dying because He was filled with the Spirit of the living God – They are One! And where God is, all His attributes are. He is the Healer so, healing is available. We don’t have to put sick people out of the camp because we have the Holy Spirit on the inside which anoints us like Jesus to, 'to preach good news to the poor … to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve … to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.’ (Is. 61:1-3)

Now you may say, ‘but we all have the same Holy Spirit if we are believers’. And we do – however, based upon where we may be spiritually at any given time, we may not all be granting Him full access to freely and fully operate in our lives.

If we were expected to function at 100% all of the time, He would not have reminded us of our need for relationships: ‘And if somebody overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken' (Eph. 4:12 HCSB)

It’s after 4AM on Tuesday.
And, my back still hurts – A LOT!
But that is OK.

It does not make me less spiritual for acknowledging that it hurts.

It does not make me less spiritual that I have to go through the process of healing instead of experiencing immediate and miraculous healing the moment I prayed.

It also does not make me less spiritual that I was not able to avoid the fall in the first place. Now there are times in life when sin causes a fall – and that needs to be addressed with a heart of conviction, with prayer, confession and repentance. But, there are times when falls just happen, simply because we live in a fallen world.

I am a godly being [spirit], with a mind, will and emotions [soul], having a physical experience [body].

When I fell,
My body was injured and bruised
My soul chronicled the event and recorded the pain
My spirit knows God as the Healer and it trust and hopes and rejoices despite the circumstance

When emotional battles strike,
The body gets nauseous, and may even throw-up
The soul notates the situation and the associated pain
The spirit knows God as Almighty and it trusts and hopes and rejoices despite the circumstance

Think you’re gonna throw-up?

Go right ahead! Get it all out!

Trust that He can handle the mess and thank Him for the godly people He places in your life who can also handle the mess.

THEN BE MADE WELL– understanding that you may have to pull night duty for someone else. Peter's mother-in-law immediately began to serve once she was made well (Mk. 1:30-31). You can only serve well out of the wellness that is in you.

Be Blessed!