Good Evening Friends!
We are almost at
the end of this week.
The time is going quickly. LORD I thank You for it; help me
to make it all count.
TO THAT END –
I am thankful for the opportunity to spend a few moments with you as we continue our discussion on LOVE
Today’s topic: LOVE & INTIMACY – Relational, Physical & Sexual
YESTERDAY – we
talked about some of the things that impact spiritual intimacy with GOD
TODAY – I
would like to discuss intimacy in natural relationships
YOU WILL RECALL –
it has been some time since I have been in a relationship. However, there are a
great many things I have learned from past relationships and that I have
gleaned through study and observance.
THAT BEING SAID –
I BELIEVE IT IS FIRST IMPORTANT TO LOOK AT
THE DEFINITION OF INTIMACY
FIRST – we
have the definition of intimacy which focuses on the relational aspect
THEN – we
have the definition of intimacy which focuses on the physical aspect
AND – the differences are
important because so often physical & sexual intimacy can become too
much of a focus; while relational intimacy can be downplayed or minimized
in significance.
§
You can have physical intimacy without having
sex;
§
You can have sex – for a while – without relational
intimacy;
§
You can have intense relational intimacy without
engaging in physical or sexual intimacy
When you consider all three in the context of
relationships, the lines can blend and blur
Therefore, I would like to take a look at all three
SEXUAL &
PHYSICAL INTIMACY
Sexual & Physical Intimacy – these are not the same
thing
Physical intimacy
is a type of intimacy –
It can manifest in the manner of a hug, a shoulder to
lean on, a hand to hold [and might not be sexual at all]. Many people have
their own ideas about what Jesus meant when He said, ‘The Son of Man has no
place to lay His head.’ Luke 9:58 However, I believe it also is applicable when
discussing physical intimacy. Where do you lay your head when you are exhausted?
Who is that person whose arms feel like home? When I talked about my top five
romantic gestures, having a place to lay my head was on the list – a place to rest my weary mind. And it
was not sexual at all … but it was physically intimate. I’m not sure I am
explaining this the way I would like but I hope you are understanding my point.
Now, when it comes
to sexual intimacy –
I tend to view it as more of an expression of intimacy
Again you can have sex and not have intimacy. There are
times, in a marriage, where a couple might still engage in the act of sexual intimacy
even though the relational intimacy died some time ago. In these instances – I believe
– the sexual aspect of intimacy will
eventually fade as well. This happens [again, my belief and not a rule] since it
is difficult to truly and meaningfully be engaged in sexual intimacy without
the relational intimacy. You cannot know how to please someone else if you do
not know them intricately and trust & honor them unequivocally. Now, if you
are in it just for what you can get out of it, you might be able to do that for
quite some time without any
relational intimacy – but that is a discussion for another day.
RELATIONAL
INTIMACY
This is where I like to focus since it is – in my
estimation – at the core of all intimacy between two people
INTIMACY IS
KNOWLEDGE – PURE AND SIMPLE
It is pure and simple while at the same time powerful and
significant
INTIMACY IN
MARRIAGE
We will start with some of the pitfalls since many a
married person has gotten into a world of trouble sharing relational intimacy with the wrong person. Understand that, when you start sharing hopes and dreams, insecurities and frustrations with someone other than your spouse;
you have trekked onto dangerous ground. Some would think it harmless because
nothing physical is taking place yet.
However, it must be understood that, relational intimacy [especially in-depth
& intense relational intimacy] will very often lead to physical and/or
sexual intimacy. Remember, sexual intimacy is an expression of relational intimacy
[not the only expression, but an expression nonetheless]. You can
share information with anyone. However, if you want to protect the total
intimacy of your marriage, you must ask yourself whether it is the wise thing
to do. ‘Everything is permissible, but
not everything is beneficial.’
Now, when intimacy
is working within a married relationship, it is a powerful thing. Have you
ever observed relational intimacy in action? I have and it is a marvelous and awe-inspiring
thing to behold. It causes individuals to transcend beyond the adoration of
someone just being their spouse to a tangible and intense partnership where it
is visible the value which the two individuals hold for each other in relation
to their God-purpose and potential. It is full of encouragement and spurring
one another on toward good works. It is a process where – through knowing one
another intimately – two people are able to work collaboratively, to be candid
with one another, to motivate and inspire each other to be their best selves.
INTIMACY IN
COURTING
Now, my single
friends are not getting off the hook so easy. Because, while it is easy to
identify some of the intimacy pitfalls within a marriage, there are just as
many opportunities for missteps outside of [or leading up to] a marriage relationship.
Indeed, many a single person has wasted precious time investing in a relationship
which lacked relational intimacy. Word of
Caution: If you have to beg someone to share information about themselves, they
are not interested in a meaningful relationship with you. Relational
intimacy involves a desire and intention to know someone and to be known by
them. It mirrors the intimate relationship we have with the LORD. And,
engaged in thoughtfully and carefully, relational intimacy can go a long way in
establishing lasting bonds between two people.
I think we may need to spend one more day on intimacy –
but that is all for now.
Praying You Have a Blessed Evening
Wishing You Much Love …
No comments:
Post a Comment