LOVE: WHERE EROS BEGINS

Good Morning Friends

It is the weekend and I am looking forward to a fabulous one.

Let’s forget the fact that I have already been up for several hours [thank you internal alarm clock]; and the fact that the temperature has dropped roughly 40-degrees since yesterday. Today is going to be a great day! It is perfect for relaxing, reading and writing

So, let’s dive right in!

Yesterday – we talked about EROS LOVE;

How it is romantic and passionate; intensely intimate and sexual

Today – however, I would like to start with PHILEO LOVE

Why? Because I believe there must be great PHILEO LOVE to experience great EROS LOVE

There must be a mutual admiration, respect and love for one another.

Recall how we noted that while EROS LOVE has sexual elements; 

It is not solely defined by sex

EROS LOVE and sex are two different elements. 

And while both can be present in a relationship, they are not equal and interchangeable.

You can have sex which could, in the worst scenario, actually be a violent attack

-        NOT EROS LOVE

You can have sex which is erotic & enticing to one and debasing & humiliating to the other

-        NOT EROS LOVE

You can have sex which falls outside of the originally planned context

-        NOT EROS LOVE [and something we will discuss when we revisit boundaries]

-        Scripture tells us how, ‘a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh … [how] Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.’ Genesis 2:24-25

-        The LORD designed men and women brilliantly and perfectly!

Understand that for every perfect plan of God; the enemy has designed a cheap counterfeit our lives and to keep us from experiencing God’s best for our lives.

I believe this is how EROS LOVE has become synonymous with sex.

It is sexual and passionate but it is not merely or necessarily sex.

True EROS LOVE has its roots in many types of love - which will be discussing in more detail [*As an aside – I think we might end up taking our LOVE discussion through the end of February]

IN ANY EVENT – 

This is why I believe the best EROS LOVE begins in the realm of PHILEO LOVE.

You will recall that phileo love is a mutual love, appreciation and affection.

NOW, the majority of your PHILEO relationships will not develop into EROS love [that would be strange and a discussion for another day]. HOWEVER, the very best EROS relationships must include a foundation of PHILEO LOVE. This is my belief.

When I think about my best friendships, they are based upon:

-        Mutual Respect

-        Mutual Sharing & Growing

-        Trust

-        Vulnerability

-        Generosity

-        Thoughtfulness

-        Selflessness

-        Genuine Feelings of Good Will

-        Honesty; the very truest form, the kind that hurts sometimes but that echoes the sentiments in Proverbs 27:6 which reminds us that even the ‘wounds’ of a friend can be trusted. There is a saying, ‘you shall know the truth and it shall set you free.’ However, I have long been a proponent of the idea that, ‘you shall know the truth and it shall make you mad – long before it sets you free.’ Yet, the best PHILEO relationships embrace this because the intention behind the honesty is never to harm – it is always based on the desire for the other person to experience their best life possible

-        Shared Principles; this is not the same as shared ideas and perspectives. It is however, based upon similar core values. My very best PHILEO relationships are those where we share the same core values and are able to build one another up in faith and based upon godly principles.

This list could go on –

And, what would EROS relationships look like if more had their start and foundation in PHILEO LOVE? What would the divorce rate look like?

Think about your past relationships – EROS relationships;

For the relationships which were not successful and that ended, were there items from our PHILEO relationship list that were lacking?

For the EROS relationship you have currently;

What items on our list play a role in the effectiveness of the relationship?

What items on the list, if present in greater measure, could make the relationship even better?

EROS LOVE – 

IT IS A LOT MORE THAN WHAT IT HAS BEEN MADE OUT TO BE

AND IT MATTERS WHERE YOU BEGIN

Praying You Have a Blessed Day!

Wishing You Much Love …